Why????

Okay, so I was feeling pretty good today and then I had someone at work take a full body picture of me. Now I am ready to cry and fall into the pits of sorrow! I feel like I haven't made any progress and it is disappointing. I know it's just the beginning and I'll keep on going but it is just still depressing. Why........when I was starting to feel really good???? Here's the pic. YUCK!!!

I look like a football player. Why such the big bulky broad stance?? AAAHHHHGGG! I want to just throw up. I hate it. I guess it's extra motivation to keep going to the gym. I like the face shots much better!! :)

Looking back......

Isn't it funny how you can look back at old photographs and think, man I wish I was that size again. And in all reality you really thought you were fat at that time. I look back at some older pictures and just wish I was back to that same me. Look at what I have let myself become. So here's a picture of myself about 12 years ago and boy do I wish I looked like that again.

Well minus the glasses I would like to look like that!! Those things are huge and hideous!! *hee hee* That just cracks me up!!

So in my search for a full body shot my mom commented and suggested that I post a few pictures from throughout my life. Here's some from baby on up. Enjoy the picture show!!


That's a baby me!!

That's me on the far right!

This is the year I met my soon to be husband only 11 years later!

16 years old!

Senior Prom in 1998!! Scary that I even just posted that pic! It's horrible.

Senior Picture. Looking kind of cute here!

21st Birthday and getting fatter by the day!! Shortly after this pic, I ballooned up to 260 pounds. It is quite scary and one of these days I will post the picture I have. I lost about 30 pounds doing the Atkins thing with my mom!

This picture is from November 2008, a month before I started this journey. Can you tell I am still trying to hide??

I am now down 17 lbs and so very happy with the outcome so far. Maybe I'll take an updated picture today to post!!

Pictures

I am having the hardest time ever. I have been searching for a full body picture of myself to use as my before picture. It seems as of right now to be non-existant. Funny how that is. I think back to getting pictures taken and me always telling my husband that he needed to zoom in closer and just get a shot of our faces. Really??? A fat girl doesn't want a full body photograph. Well, NO!!! That would mean she would have to look fat. And god forbid that a fat girl looks fat!! Who was I kidding. So needless to say, I am still on the search. There has to be some hideous fat girl full body shot somewhere. Let me know if you snuck one in on me. I know I don't have any. :)

Running

I am sitting here after a very great workout, wondering how I have evolved into this person I am right now. Never in a million years did I ever expect that I would be working out, doing an hour and a half of strength training a week and three hours of cardio a week. I feel strong, and I feel refreshed. I feel like a new person almost. Hard to believe that I let myself live the opposite way for so many years. So the gym was wonderful today. I went a little earlier than I usually do and it was quiet and peaceful. I managed 30 minutes of upper body, 30 minutes on the elliptical machine, 25 minutes on the stationary bike. Total calorie burn of 780!!!

Then for some unknown reason I had the urge to get on the treadmill and see if I could muster up the courage to run. SO I get on and start walking at a fast pace, with a slight incline. I'm walking and the whole time I'm telling myself bump up that speed and get running. Did I do it......NOOOOOOO!! I kept thinking to myself "everyone is going to be watching me". Running involves your whole body, and well, when your heavy that's just not a pretty sight. I really want to run though and I have no idea why. I've heard all the info about how bad it is on your body, and that women shouldn't run. Blah, Blah, Blah........BUT I WANT TO RUN!!!!! I even have been having dreams about running. Who knows why!! So my goal is to gather the courage to embarrass myself in front of the whole gym and just go for it. I'll let you know how it goes. :)

Here's a picture of my littlest man. He's just the cutest!!! I may be a little biased though!

Inspirations

It's amazing that it has been over a week since I last updated my blog. Where does the time go. I have been doing very well as far as eating and working out. Although, I guess only working out 2 times last week doesn't really count as doing well. But hey, at least it's 2 more times than I used to work out! I busted butt yesterday though and burned 631 calories at the gym.

There's nothing really new or exciting that has happened in the last week. I received a few compliments about how good I am looking so that is definately a moral booster. Keeps me driven at least. My brother has been a real source of encouragement to me. He has lost a great deal of weight, I'm not sure the exact amount though. I think around 74 pounds (thanks for the correction momma!). He works up on the slope and every time he comes home he looks slimmer and slimmer. He really looks amazing. I saw pictures of him today and he has changed so much. I know we have both struggled greatly with weight almost all our lives, but he has really made a change. Even though he's younger than me, I really look up to him. I also don't want to be the only fat one in our family either. :) Here's some before and after pictures. hopefully he doesn't kill me for posting them. Here's to you little brother. I am so proud of you!! xoxoxoxo


Before!!



After!!!

What a transforamtion!! This was taken quite a few months ago with his finace`. He has even lost more weight since then. Way to go Brother.

Milestones

Monday is here already!! Why is it, the weekend goes by so fast, and then the week drags on forever??? I wish I was still at home in bed. My dear husband and my little Logan are at home today, and it kills me to be at work today!!!!

I had a great weekend. I ate pretty horribly, but it's a new day right. The scale was down a pound so it must not have been too bad. Even through all my naughty eating, I managed to come out of it with a reality of my loss and a small milestone has been accomplished. My husand Joe, bought me a new coat quite a few months ago. It was a really sweet gesture and I loved him for it. The only problem was that it didn't fit. It stretched really tight across the stomach and just looked disgusting. Kind of like Big girl in a tiny coat!!

Well, we were getting ready to leave the house and run a few errands yesterday and I couldn't find my polar fleece coat. So I'm rummaging throught the closet looking for it, when I happen across the coat Joe bought me. I thought, well we'll see how it fits and how much more I have to go before I can get into it. So I put it on and go to zip it up. Not only did it Zip up but I have extra room in it. I went running into the next room to show Joe that it finally fits and he just looked at me like I had just escaped form the nut house. He, not ever having a weight problem, doesn't know what it feels like to try and cram yourself into a coat one month and then 3 months later, try on that same coat and have it fit perfectly. So even if I celebrate by myself, I know the accomplishment I have made.


I also went shopping this weekend, and unfortunately only ended up with new mascara. Funny how jewlery, makeup, and shoes are a fat girls greatest shopping buys. I never have to worry about making sure that all my extra largeness can cram into them. They just fit perfectly no matter what size I am. Perhaps, that is why my jewlery armoire is overflowing with necklaces.

I end up taking my neice with me. She is a true girl and LOVES to shop. At least I have her, becuase with two boys and a husband I am basically on my own. For some reason they just don't like going with me!! :) Here's a quick picture of my little stinker of a neice. She had quite the fun time playing with the hats!

As far as eating goes, I am on track so far and putting the weekend behind me. So here's to a great week!!

Caterpillar

Have you ever ate something and the taste just lingers in your mouth forever?? You wish you could go back and eat it all over again?? Yeah, the last time I remember that happening was when I was stuffing my face with some greasy, gain 5 lbs if you eat it, fast food. You know, the greasy cheeseburgers, or heavenly french fries. (Yes I used to love me some french fries!!!) Well I just experienced that again for the first time since my weight loss journey began. No, I didn't fall off an cave into secretly driving my car through the drive through. I actually ate something good for me and I wanted to keep eating it over and over and over again. I had SUSHI!!! It was the most delicious roll I have ever eaten. I would take it over fast food any day. It makes my mouth salivate right now as I type this. Can it be true??? Can something low calorie and healthy actually wipe my taste buds clean of the grease bombs I used to devour?? I think it has happened!! (Sound the trumpets and roll out the red carpet!!) It was a caterpillar roll. It's basically BBQ eel, in a roll, with sliced avocado over the top and them a little dab of some hot sauce. I could have ate 3 plates of it. Hey, I might just get used to this whole lifestyle change. 10 WEEKS AND COUNTING!