It has been forever since I have blogged, and I have so many new things to share! Ü Where oh where to I start! LOL

Let's go back to January...........I started back up at the gym and tried to get back in to running. I was beginning my journey and second attempt at training for a half marathon. The treadmill just wasn't cutting it for me at ALL!!! I hated being on it every second. There's something about hitting the pavement that makes my legs keep going. Except in my case it turned out to be the ice!

I began running outside every night. I would get home from work, lace up my shoes and head out into the cold. I was derailed quite a few times as the weather would be unpredictable and suddenly snow 6 inches. This made running outside for the next few days seem impossible. Especially when it was bitter cold.

But I did it! I actually trained for a half marathon, in the winter, in Alaska!! I will say that my runs were wet, cold, and snowy. But it made me feel that much stronger. I felt like I could conquer just about anything I wanted!

April came quickly and I was finally in Salt Lake City picking up my bib. It was an overwhelming experience. I can't even describe it. It makes me tear up a little just thinking about it. The months it took me to get to where I was. The hours of running. The pain I pushed through. I was about to wake up and run 13.1 miles.

April 17th I ran 13.1 miles and crossed the finish line in tears. I had actually done it!!!!! But.......let me tell you some of those tears were because I didn't have to run another step! :)

I was feeling really good at mile 7, 8, and 9. But once I passed that 10 mile mark, my mind was ready to quit. I had trained to 10 miles and felt pretty good. What was another 3?? It was torture! lol Add in the fact that is was also 70+ degrees outside and that I had trained in 20 degree weather. But after 3hrs, 23 minutes and 29 seconds, I crossed that finish line. I had accomplished a half marathon before my 30th birthday. I only had 4 days to spare. :)

I have been working on losing more weight, as after the half marathon I got a little lazy and put back on some weight. About 15 pounds to be exact. I began a somewhat controversial diet and have lost another 25 pounds. And have successfully maintained this weight loss for some time now. I'm an now under 200 pounds and am weighing 197!!!! I have officially lost 37 lbs since starting this weight loss journey some time back. I know it's not a lot, but I feel amazing!!!!

This is getting kind of long now, so I'll post more tomorrow about what kind of diet I have been on! Have a great day!!!! :)

So it's been my second week back at the gym. Lost 3.5 lbs in my first week and am happy to report the the scale hasn't consumed me everyday. I set out to weigh once a week, and so far in a week and a half have only weighed myself twice. Not too bad I don't think.

My running has been coming back to me rather quickly. I managed to get in 2 miles on the treadmill today. My love hate relationship with the treadmill is breaking. We seem to be coming to an understanding. Yesterday and today was actually quite easy. I find it helps to kind of play a game on it. Run at a higher speed for 2 minutes and then slow it down a little for 2 minutes. It helps the time go by faster.

I'm really just ready to go run outside. Unfortunately living in Alaska and dealing with -3 degree temperatures doesn't really sound like a fun time to me. Today it's warmed up to about 17 so I'm thinking I will attempt to go out tomorrow. I love running outside. I feel like I am actually accomplishing something.

Food has been really good as well. I really haven't had any bad cravings at all. I'm making sure that I am making good choices about what I eat. Looking for food to really give me the bang for the calories. I have found a new love in cream of wheat. It's crazy to me, but I LOVE it. It tastes so delicious and keeps me full until 11 or so when I head to the gym. I'm getting 4 hours out of it, so it's working!!

A New Year

I can't beleive that I haven't blogged since August. Kind of sad really. I think life got so busy that I forgot to make time for myself and then got stuck in the routine of not doing anything. That's okay though. It's a new year and I've only gained a few pounds since I let go of everything.

I have new motivation, as I am getting ready to train for a half marathon. Yes, AGAIN!!!! This time I am going to run the Salt Lake City half marathon with my Aunt. It is on April 17th, which is 4 days before my 30th birthday. What a great birthday present to myself. I headed to the gym today and actually got on the treadmill. I was really scared that I was going to get on and have my body violently throw me back off asking me what the hell I thought I was doing. You know you get quite used to doing nothing for a few months!! I started out slow and finished my first mile in a little under 14 minutes. nothing fantastic, but a start back. it was actually a tone easier than I thought it was giong to be. I think my poor body has been waiting to get back on!

My eating has been on track for the last couple of days. Amazing what motivation you can muster up when life throws you something excited. So I'm back and ready to kick some more weight to the curb! I have a ton of catching up to do!! :)

Getting back to ME

I started my work week out on a good note. I made it to the gym after work last night and it felt wonderful. Never again will I go back to the gym after work as that place was INSANE!!!! There were so many people there. I'm used to going during the day when there's only a handful of people around. Definitely a new experience for me. It was also so very hot in there. Must have been the hundred bodies working out. I couldn't stand it. I made it through my strength training and then took off as I had a portrait session to get to. My goal is to make it there every day this week. I know I can do it, it's just getting my mind to work with me!! :)

This weekend was a great one. My littlest man just turned "3" yesterday and it was kind of a sad day for me. I can't believe my baby is that old already. Time for more????? Don't tell my husband I said that!!!! hee hee! We had a birthday party on Sunday for Logan and he was so dang cute. It was definitely his day. He was so overwhelmed when it came to opening presents. It was like he didn't know if he wanted to open the next present or just rip into the toys he had already opened. The funniest thing of the night was when he was opening a box that had squirt guns in it. He pulls out the squirt guns and his face just lights up. Then he says this " Oh, WOW!! These are bad ass!!!" I couldn't believe it. He had the whole room going. I was a bit embarrassed to say the least. His daddy got in trouble for that one, as that is his saying not mine!! :)

Nothing else new has really been going on. Still busy with photo shoots, work, football and home life. I'll have to post pictures soon of my football nights. He looks so dang cute in all his gear. Hope you all are well, as I have some major catching up to do!!

I'm Failing.....

Life for me lately has been.......well what's the right word??? Let's just say the right word doesn't exist at this moment. I'm juggling my job, my photography business (that seems to explode right when I am at my breaking point), football for Joey (5 days a week, 2 hours a day and soon to be 6 days a week!), and then housework when a spare moment flashes by. I'm sinking I think. I feel guilt for not working out 100% like I was, I feel guilt for not running in over a week, I feel guilt for neglecting business priorities, I feel guilt for having a not so clean home, and I feel guilt for stretching myself so thin that at times I become a monster to my family.

I feel all of this, plus to add on to it I am so deathly afraid that since I haven't worked out like I used to for the past 2 weeks that I'm going to get fat again, and not get back to my losing. It's killing me. I can't take it anymore.

So with a heavy heavy heart, I had to give something up temporarily. The one piece of guilt that has been aching in my heart for the last few weeks. The one that is the weight of 1000 bricks. I guess I'm hoping that by "temporarily" giving this up I will be able to think more clearly and focus on what is more important, being able to spend a long life with my family. So in order to focus more on my workouts, clean eating and pure fat loss, I am giving up on my goal of my half marathon. :(

I'm very, very sad about it. But unfortunately I put too much on my plate and I need to straighten it all out. I missed my 10 mile run on Sunday, and I feel like I have failed myself and I can feel myself starting to give up on everything. Maybe if I can let go of that one heavy burden, then maybe I can get back up to where I was. Get rid of what's dragging me down.

Even though I may not be competing in the half marathon this summer, I will make it next summer. I'm proud of myself in that a few short months I have gone from not running at all to finishing a 9 mile run. I feel like I have accomplished the world already and I am perfectly content with that. I don't have to worry about these long runs and can now focus back on my shorter 4 mile runs. The runs that I love doing. I'm going to get back to what makes me happy.

Thank you to Dawn and my mom for supporting me so much. I couldn't have gotten to those 9 miles had it not been for your encouragement and constant inspiration. You are both wonderful women and I appreciate everything about you. You've given me a goal to reach for and I can't thank you enough.

I'll be back tomorrow ready for a second beginning!! 32 lbs down and counting! (No loss in 2 weeks, but no gain either!! I can live with that!)

Full Moon???

So nothing new has really been happening on the weight loss front. Eating has been good, workouts have been okay, could be a lot better, but I am working on it. :) So all in all nothing has changed. I'm okay with that for this week, but I'm attempting to rev things up a bit in hopes that it shows up on the scale next week. I ready to be under 200. Actually I am dying to be under 200. My day will come. Slowly but surely.

The one thing I do have to share is quite embarrassing. I hate a great NSV (non scale victory) today in the fact that my bi-polar lunatic boss actually complimented me. She found out through the gossip vine that I have been running and actually ran 8 miles for the second time on Monday. She stopped me and told me that all my running is paying off because I am looking wonderful. I was shocked, stunned and speechless. She NEVER compliments anyone and most often if she stops to talk to you, you shudder because it's most likely not a very good conversation. I kindly said thank you and went on my way as I was heading out to get some blood work done. As I was still stunned by this kindness I had received, I headed down the stairs, only to reach the bottom of the stairs and have my pants slip completely down to my ankles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was mortified. I quickly hiked them back up while scanning the area to make sure no body had seen me in all my glory.

I had worn my old fat pants (32 lbs ago fat pants) to work today as they are so darn comfortable. The only problem is that they have to we kind of held up when I walk as they like to slip and slide all over the place. In my state of shock, I forgot to hold them up as I was walking down the stairs. Hence the reason I lost them at the bottom. Thank god there was no one around, as I may of had to pack up my desk and look for a new job!!!

My piece of advice, is don't hold on to the fat pants. GET RID OF THEM WHILE YOU CAN!!! :) Mine are fixed temporarily with a safety pin now, so no more falling pants at least for today!!

A thanks and a running partner.

After so much needed advice on my post yesterday, I have decided that I should be happy for those I love no matter what the circumstances and just need to focus on what I am doing for myself. It's all about ME time right now, and fixing myself. A big thanks goes out to my mom for always being my biggest supporter. I don't know what I would do without her. She is my rock!! Love you Mom!

I was scheduled to run 9 miles last night in order to train for my half marathon coming up in less than 4 weeks. SCARY!!!! So I went out and felt great the first 4 miles. It was the second 4 miles that kicked my butt. I only made it to 8 miles last night, as my knees were screaming for me to stop. I wanted so badly to finish up that last mile, but I also knew I needed to listen to my body. I would rather run a mile less one night than injure myself and not be able to run for weeks.

My 10 year old son decided that he was going to join me on my last 4 miles. I was sure that he would end up wanting to go back home, so I had him join me and then was going to send him back home after 1 mile as that's where we pass the trail that leads straight home. Well once we got to the 1st mile (or my 5Th mile) he decided that he was in this thing for the long haul and he wasn't going home at all. After a few short walk breaks and a stop for him to stretch, he made it all four miles (8 miles for me). I can't believe what a great job he did. I have been dying for a running partner, and low and behold, I gave birth to one. He said he had a lot of fun and wanted to go again tomorrow. Those dang kids have so much energy. Good job on your run Joey, Momma loves you!!

Selfishness!!!!!!!!!!

As of today I am now down 31 lbs. It has been a long hard 6 month fight, but I am still motivated and still fighting. However, I do feel horrible about myself and need to get it off my chest. Perhaps I need some kick to the head or a wake up call. I'm sure a kick to the head would be quite the wake up call. So perhaps I'll get a two for one!! :)

My best friend of 10 years, is also a heavy girl. For about 2 years we were inseparable and spent every waking moment with each other. During this time, we were each other's worst enemy. We would pig out and eat all kind of garbage and the other wouldn't even bat an eye at us. We were a train wreck really. During this time I reached my highest weight of 255 lbs. I was miserable. My BFF was quite a bit slimmer than I, but as her fat friend I feel like I enabled her to gain weight along with me. Our 2 year damage fest quickly slowed down, when we both got married and had children. We didn't have all that time to spend with each other anymore. We were and are still very close.

So there's our background. So fast forward about 8 years later and here we are 6 months ago. My BFF was desperate to lose weight and even considered gaining weight so that she would qualify for Lap Band. I kept yelling at her telling her how great I was feeling, and trying to motivate her to hop on the bandwagon with me. She was very reluctant until 4 weeks ago. She ended up seeing a doctor and they suggested this appetite suppressant, mega energy pill thing. I'm still not quite sure exactly what it is. In combination with this magic pill, she has also cut her calories to about 1500. In these last 4 weeks she has lost an amazing 19 lbs. I am astounded. She is also doing it without even working out.

So here's where my selfishness and kick to the head comes in. Every time I get a text message from her I want to just scream. It's always 1 lb down, 1.2 lbs down. Over and over and over again. I am happy for her really!! But somewhere in my sick twisted head, I want her to fail. I want her to gain some weight and fall off the bandwagon. This is my BFF!!!! What the hell is wrong with me. I just don't get it.

I am so happy for all of you when you drop weight, sometimes so proud of the things you have all accomplished. I get sad when you have a rough time, and wish so badly to help you pick up the pieces and get back to it. So why do I want bad things for my one friend I would do anything for?? I know that I am VERY jealous of the fact she can drop 19 lbs in 4 weeks and it takes me 6 months to drop 31. Perhaps I am fearful that she will just blow by me and drop all her weight while I'm still riding that train up the mountain.

I'm sad that I feel this way. And am trying everything I can to get rid of it. Perhaps baring all my demons to you all will help me overcome this jealousy and selfishness. I hate the weight devils and the things they do to us all. I just want to be happy for her, and happy for myself at the same time.

Thanks for listening and I'm ready for the kicks to the head now!! Let the beating begin!!!!!

Graphic Post!! Enter with caution!!

Okay, so this post is very unrelated to weight loss, but I just had to share. As you may know I have two little boys. One is 10 and the other is turning 3 next month. They are wonderful children most of the time, and like typical boys get into things constantly. Again, I am warning you that you may not want to read this next part of my post if you have a bad stomach, as it is about to get pretty graphic!!! :)


























You still wanting to read this???????





























This is your second warning!!!









































Well, the other night after work, I came home, greeted the family and changed out of my work clothes. My littlest, Logan, asked to watch a movie, so I turned one on for him in my bedroom. He was happy as he got to hang out in mom's bed and watch a movie. My other son was on the computer, so I was thrilled to spend a little one on one time with my hubby. We sat on the couch together and turned on the evening news. It was really nice. About 15 minutes into our quality time, I began to smell the most awful smell. I look over to my husband trying to figure out what the smell was. He looked at me with the same wonder. I started laughing as I was trying to tell him it wasn't me that smelled like that. He seemed to think it was my feet, as they were sprawled across his lap. The nerve of him to think that such a horrible smell could come from me?????

The smell was not going away, so I called out to my oldest son to see if he had gone to the bathroom and was now smelling up my house.

He yelled back "NO,.........but why does it stink like POOP!!!

So this leaves one person left to question. I was hoping that Logan had needed to use the bathroom and had taken the liberty to do it on his own. He had really taken to the whole big boy, using the potty thing for months now. Normally he tells me when he has to go and I go in and help him.

I walked to the bathroom and found the most horrific sight I had ever seen in my life. My sweet dear child was standing in the middle of the bathroom. Only the problem was that the ENTIRE bathroom was covered in POOP!!!!! Gag me seriously.

I stood there in awe, yelling to my husband "You have got to be kidding me!!!!" There was poop smeared all over the entire floor, footprints and all, poop all over his legs, feet, hands. It was on the doors, the toilet, the cabinets, all over the door handle. I don't think there was a single spot he missed. He was VERY thorough in making sure he covered every inch of that bathroom.

As I stand there ready to cry, looking at this huge mess I have to clean up and wondering what would possibly make a child want to do this, I notice my bedroom!!!! There are poop footprints all over my bedroom leading from the bathroom. He had literally taken a break from his poop playing to walk himself into my room and watch a few minutes of his movie, only to return back to his mess making.

Seriously????? Can a child really do all of this in such a short period of time??? But he's almost 3??? Don't they do this sort of thing when they are babies, not 2 years old???? Why my child
???? Blech!!!

I wanted to cry. I wanted to run away, cry and call a cleaning company to come in and take all of this nasty mess away. This was the one time in my life where I didn't want to be a mom anymore.

My mom says that he did this because I let him play in the mud all the time and he's not afraid to get a little dirty now!! But.........THIS WASN'T MUD!!!!!!!!! Gag, Gag, Gag!!!!

Needless to say I got to scrub a bathroom and walls for about an hour, while my husband shampooed the carpet in our bedroom. I have never felt so grossed out in my entire life. I would rather give birth 100 more times than clean up that horrible mess. The smell was infused into my nostrils for hours afterwords. I think I washed myself like 10 times that night, thinking I had it somewhere on my. I would have bathed in bleach if I could have.

So when your young children are misbehaving and acting up, just remember what they could be doing! Young children and silence just do not mix!!!!!! There is trouble brewing if you can't hear them.

Does this little cutie pie look like he would ever do something like that??? He definately keeps me on my toes and I love him for it!!

So if you made it all the way through my post today, I completely understand if you never come back EVER AGAIN!!! I wouldn't blame you!

Woot! Woot!! That's me tooting my own horn!!

I've been MIA for some time now. But don't worry I've been on track, just uninspired to write!! That is until today!!!

When I started this journey of weight loss back in January, I never imagined what I could accomplish or what I was capable of accomplishing. I was fat, unhappy and extremely unmotivated to do anything. But in 6 months time I have changed my life completely. I am still fat, but on my way to healthy, I am probably the happiest I have ever been, and most of the time I feel like I could conquer the world. I have lost 30 lbs so far, nothing extreme for 6 months but I'll take it. I feel healthier and that's really all I want right now.

I'm sitting here reflecting on how far I have come because last night I accomplished something that terrified me, actually horrified me because I didn't want to fail and deep down in my heart I knew I couldn't do it. But............. last night I RAN 8 MILES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really did it! I set out to run 8 miles and I did it. I never gave up, (even though my mind kept telling me I was nuts for trying to run this far) and I accomplished something I never dreamed I could do. Of course I walked for about 5 minutes total throughout the run and stopped at 4 miles to take in some water and some GU (FYI - This is the grossest stuff I have ever tried to swallow!! But the boost it gave me was AMAZING!). But I still made it to 8 miles! And let me tell you I'm not walking to well this morning. Every muscle in my legs are screaming! Oh well, they'll get over it!! :) LOL

Getting there!

I have been missing in action for some time, mostly due to my crazy life at work. It is the end of fiscal year and things have been so busy, that most of the time I don't have time to think about food or even really think for that matter!! Helps the ol' waistline tremendously!!!! :)

The exercise front was pretty much non-existent last week except for a short 3 mile run. I can't begin to tell you all how guilty I feel for last week. I feel like I failed myself. I've only got a few days left of this panic before the end of the month so this will be back to "normal" soon.

I did manage to go out with the girls on Saturday, for a much needed get away. I just needed a break and some ME time. It was extremely enjoyable until we went out the the bars. I was one, very under dressed compared to the women around me, and two all my insecurities I have been working so hard to get rid of, came flooding back in a matter of 2 seconds. It was a horrible experience and after losing 30 pounds I now feel like I'm starting all over again. I was just at the point where I was feeling good about my loss, I was getting compliments, and feeling somewhat proud of what I've done so far. But this weekend made me feel like I hadn't done enough. Maybe it was good for me on the other hand. Maybe it will just start me again to push harder. I'm still working on it day by day. I just don't plan on going to the bar anytime soon! I'm WAY over that scene.

Self portrait before my night out!!!

I need to catch up with all of you now. I feel so out of the loop it is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you all are well. Let me know how you're doing as I've missed you all!

I'm back!

Today is a rough day for me. There are so many of you going through heartache and loss right now, that it makes me sad. I know that grief all too well and it really hits hard today. One year ago today I lost my Uncle in a very sad, unfortunate motorcycle accident. He had climbed onto his stepsons brand new motorcycle and took it out for a early evening ride. Unfortunately he lost control of the bike and veered off the roads and into the woods. He was wearing a helmet, but the impact was more than his body could take and in an instant he was taken from us. He was more than a Uncle to me, he was at times like my second dad. He was there for me during troubling and hard times and always had a shoulder for me to cry on. He was a teddy bear and I miss his hugs dearly. He was always so happy to see me and he always brought a smile to my face. Took quickly we forget to cherish the ones we love, when in an instant they can be gone.

So hug your family and friends and cherish every day you have with them. We never know what the future holds!!

I love you Uncle Jon and miss you as much today as I did a year ago. I'll get that big bear hug one of these days!

I'm tired........just plain tired!!!

I'm tired of being walked on!

I'm tired of feeling unimportant!

I'm tired of putting myself last!

I'm tired of not being supported!

I'm tired of feeling lost!!

I'm tired.........I'm just plain tired!!

What a weekend!

I weighed in at 206.8 Sunday morning. Down another pound and down 27.2 lbs. It's all starting to pay off. :)

Finished my 5 mile run this weekend in a time of 1:05:40!!!!!!!!!! I beat my goal by over 2 minutes. My goal was 1:08:00! Can you tell I'm excited??

The run was absolutely amazing. I went solo for the whole thing and it was such a great experience. At the end as I was coming across the finish line, a runner behind me came up grabbed my hand raised it up in the air and said we did it!! I really almost cried. And to make it even cooler they called my name as I was coming across the finish line with her. I am so jazzed and pumped for my half marathon in August. Keep on running!!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well! I've got to go catch up with you all now!

I'm Struggling

I am just now getting back from the gym. I was scheduled to run 4 miles this afternoon. I decided to do it on the treadmill as I am finding it difficult to run at home unless it is 10:00 at night. If I do that I don't end up getting to bed until 12 or 1 and then back up at 6 am to get ready for work. Anyways......I went to the gym to run my 4 miles. I only made it to 2 miles!

I am confused. I can run forever outside uphill and downhill, but when it comes to the dang treadmill I get all flustered and can't get very far. I mean I have done 3 and 4 miles on it before, but it feels torturous.

DO any of you runners have this problem??? Or is my mind just not letting me get past it??

I'm struggling and I need your help!

A glimpse into my life!!

Besides being a weight loss obsessed mom of two, I thought I would give you all a little insight into my life beyond just my weight. I have two jobs and one of them is my real passion. I do on location portrait photography. You can find most of my work at my website. I love capturing those special moments for others. So I decided to share some of my passion with you and let you in on what I'm doing when I'm not crying at the scale!!!

I still work a full time job as an Account Executive for an office supply company, but this is the job that I hope to one day work full time with!! I just love being behind that camera.

Life isn't all consumed with weight loss and physical appearance, as good as it may feel. It's about doing what you enjoy in life. I'm learning that I don't have to obsess over one thing at a time. I'm learning I can still be active, healthy and continue my weight loss without sacrificing the things that I love!!

I've learned to work my workout schedule around my family, as my youngest absolutely hates it when I go out for my nightly run without him. He will cry until I get home and it is just heart breaking. So for the love of my family, I either go after he's gone to bed or bring him along in the jogger. I'm amazed at the ease this juggling of life and weight loss comes. So after 5 months it's become second nature.

You can tell your getting thinner when.........

You can bend over and paint your own toes with out cutting off your airway or circulation!!

I painted my own toes today, and I could breath the whole time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just thought I'd let you know! LOL

I moan and groan, whine and cry about my weight. Throw a 2 year old tantrum, by laying on the floor kicking and screaming and what do I get??

A 2.6 pound loss!!!!!!

Now I know why my 2 1/2 year old throws a fit like that. They get what they want in the end. So now I am at 207.8 lbs. I really can't believe it. I have lost 26.2 pounds in 22 weeks. Not fast at any means but I'm really liking it.

I have gone from a somewhat tight 20, to a size 16. I can actually buy clothes from a regular store right now. That is the biggest prize of them all. I remember my trip to Vegas in October and I had to make sure each mall we went to had a big girl store in it. I was jealous of my sister in law as she was buying the most adorable clothes in all of the stores. I had to resort to buying jewlery or shoes from these stores and sdaly that's the only thing that would remotely fit.

I just gave away two huge black garbage bags full of too big clothes. I am not leave anything in my closet to go back to. So for now I am on a limited wardrobe. One pair of jeans, 2 pairs of black dress pants, a pair of brown dress pants, and a pair of grey dress pants. That's it. So if I'm wearing the same thing over and over again it's because I don't own any clothes anymore. Such a shame!!! :)

So if you ever feel like throwing a fit to get what you want I can give you a few pointers as it seems to have worked really well for me!!!

Off and Running!

So I posted yesterday about my obsession with the scale and how I am a loser and weight myself every day in hopes that the little weight fairies will come and pluck off a pound or two while I'm sleeping. Yeah right......Keep dreaming lady!! Well of course I didn't get up and decide not to weigh myself this morning. No, I got up and my first thought was maybe the scale is going to surprise me today. i get on and low and behold the scale says 209.8 lbs. Woo Hoo!! Even if it was a little drop it was still a drop. I'm sure the scale was being nice to me so that I wouldn't drop kick it into the corner of the bathroom again. Thank you scale for complying with my obsession and give me a little string of hope to hang on to!!

I am running the Anchorage Run For Women next Saturday. It is a 5 mile run for breast cancer. I am so freaking excited for it. Imagine that, a fat girl excited to run for 5 miles!! Yep, that's me! My run has gone from about a 14.20 mile minute to about a 13 mile minute. I am hoping to finish in an hour and 8 minutes. I'm adding a little extra cushion as to not disappoint myself!! Some of you would not consider my timing a run, but for a girl that is still 80 pounds overweight, I VERY MUCH consider this running. I can't believe the that in 7 1/2 weeks I have gone from running a full mile to running 5 miles as well as increasing my time. I remember my excitement the
first time I ran a full mile.

SO here's to a glorious weekend full of a 4 mile run tonight and a 6 mile run on Sunday, as well as keeping away from Fast Food, or any bad food for that matter!!! Hope you all have a great weekend and I will see you on Monday for weekend updates!

A much needed kick in the butt!!

A HUGE thank you goes out to Dawn for giving me a little kick in the butt to get back on here. It helps to have someone watch over you and I can't thank you enough!!! I haven't had much to post about, or at least I thought I didn't!! I do have a few little things to say though!

After my horrible guilt fest of a weekend I ended up going for a run on Monday. Although something was/is up with my body. I was supposed to run a 3 miler, but once I got to 2.5 miles I couldn't move a step more. I don't know what was wrong. Perhaps it was my body telling me to never eat all that processed garbage ever again, or don't leave me hanging for 4 days without getting me moving. I was feeling like a slug.

Tuesday I was supposed to have my session with the trainer, but he had to cancel on me, but still gave me a list of things he wanted me to do for the day. I of course took this as a excuse not to do anything and that's what I did. I ate great, but never made it to the gym. I have been feeling sluggish and tired and kind of blah. It is slowly getting better though.

Wednesday was a much better day!! :) I spent an hour in the gym and did a full body strength training day. I was spent by the end of my session. Thomas, my trainer, came over to chat with me for a minute and asked me if I got my workout in for yesterday. I was honest with him and told him I totally slacked off. He just smiled at me. I knew what he was thinking!! :) I came clean with my horrible weekend and about my run on Monday. That my body wasn't working like I wanted it to. I have been sneezing a ton and the throat is a little scratchy, so maybe I was coming down with something. He was so understanding and didn't make me feel like more of a loser. He cracked me up because the first thing he said to me after I confessed my sins was "well, I hope you don't get upset for me asking you this, but is it that time of the month??" I just started laughing. Why is it that men always think that's the reason for everything!! :) I told him no and he said to shake it off, get my butt in the gym every day and listen to my body and not my mind. Thank you for the awesome advice there Thomas!! So last night I made it out for my nightly run. 3 miles was on the schedule so out I went and actually made it this time. I was feeling a lot faster than normal last night and can tell my stride is definitely getting longer. I felt accomplished yesterday and will kick butt again today!!

I have also been obsessed with the scale. I get on every single morning to see if it has changed. And of course the last few weeks it hasn't changed at all. It frustrates me to no end, but I am hoping that I am losing inches versus pounds. I just feel like I work and work and work at it with no rewards. I will be having my husband hide the scale from me for at least a week. I've got to concentrate on getting ready for my half marathon, and quit destructing myself with the dang scale!!

Thanks to everyone for their sweet comments on my crappy days. I am feeling refreshed and ambitious today so I'm going to make the best of it!! Have a great day!