Getting there!

I have been missing in action for some time, mostly due to my crazy life at work. It is the end of fiscal year and things have been so busy, that most of the time I don't have time to think about food or even really think for that matter!! Helps the ol' waistline tremendously!!!! :)

The exercise front was pretty much non-existent last week except for a short 3 mile run. I can't begin to tell you all how guilty I feel for last week. I feel like I failed myself. I've only got a few days left of this panic before the end of the month so this will be back to "normal" soon.

I did manage to go out with the girls on Saturday, for a much needed get away. I just needed a break and some ME time. It was extremely enjoyable until we went out the the bars. I was one, very under dressed compared to the women around me, and two all my insecurities I have been working so hard to get rid of, came flooding back in a matter of 2 seconds. It was a horrible experience and after losing 30 pounds I now feel like I'm starting all over again. I was just at the point where I was feeling good about my loss, I was getting compliments, and feeling somewhat proud of what I've done so far. But this weekend made me feel like I hadn't done enough. Maybe it was good for me on the other hand. Maybe it will just start me again to push harder. I'm still working on it day by day. I just don't plan on going to the bar anytime soon! I'm WAY over that scene.

Self portrait before my night out!!!

I need to catch up with all of you now. I feel so out of the loop it is driving me crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you all are well. Let me know how you're doing as I've missed you all!

I'm back!

Today is a rough day for me. There are so many of you going through heartache and loss right now, that it makes me sad. I know that grief all too well and it really hits hard today. One year ago today I lost my Uncle in a very sad, unfortunate motorcycle accident. He had climbed onto his stepsons brand new motorcycle and took it out for a early evening ride. Unfortunately he lost control of the bike and veered off the roads and into the woods. He was wearing a helmet, but the impact was more than his body could take and in an instant he was taken from us. He was more than a Uncle to me, he was at times like my second dad. He was there for me during troubling and hard times and always had a shoulder for me to cry on. He was a teddy bear and I miss his hugs dearly. He was always so happy to see me and he always brought a smile to my face. Took quickly we forget to cherish the ones we love, when in an instant they can be gone.

So hug your family and friends and cherish every day you have with them. We never know what the future holds!!

I love you Uncle Jon and miss you as much today as I did a year ago. I'll get that big bear hug one of these days!

I'm tired........just plain tired!!!

I'm tired of being walked on!

I'm tired of feeling unimportant!

I'm tired of putting myself last!

I'm tired of not being supported!

I'm tired of feeling lost!!

I'm tired.........I'm just plain tired!!

What a weekend!

I weighed in at 206.8 Sunday morning. Down another pound and down 27.2 lbs. It's all starting to pay off. :)

Finished my 5 mile run this weekend in a time of 1:05:40!!!!!!!!!! I beat my goal by over 2 minutes. My goal was 1:08:00! Can you tell I'm excited??

The run was absolutely amazing. I went solo for the whole thing and it was such a great experience. At the end as I was coming across the finish line, a runner behind me came up grabbed my hand raised it up in the air and said we did it!! I really almost cried. And to make it even cooler they called my name as I was coming across the finish line with her. I am so jazzed and pumped for my half marathon in August. Keep on running!!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend as well! I've got to go catch up with you all now!

I'm Struggling

I am just now getting back from the gym. I was scheduled to run 4 miles this afternoon. I decided to do it on the treadmill as I am finding it difficult to run at home unless it is 10:00 at night. If I do that I don't end up getting to bed until 12 or 1 and then back up at 6 am to get ready for work. Anyways......I went to the gym to run my 4 miles. I only made it to 2 miles!

I am confused. I can run forever outside uphill and downhill, but when it comes to the dang treadmill I get all flustered and can't get very far. I mean I have done 3 and 4 miles on it before, but it feels torturous.

DO any of you runners have this problem??? Or is my mind just not letting me get past it??

I'm struggling and I need your help!

A glimpse into my life!!

Besides being a weight loss obsessed mom of two, I thought I would give you all a little insight into my life beyond just my weight. I have two jobs and one of them is my real passion. I do on location portrait photography. You can find most of my work at my website. I love capturing those special moments for others. So I decided to share some of my passion with you and let you in on what I'm doing when I'm not crying at the scale!!!

I still work a full time job as an Account Executive for an office supply company, but this is the job that I hope to one day work full time with!! I just love being behind that camera.

Life isn't all consumed with weight loss and physical appearance, as good as it may feel. It's about doing what you enjoy in life. I'm learning that I don't have to obsess over one thing at a time. I'm learning I can still be active, healthy and continue my weight loss without sacrificing the things that I love!!

I've learned to work my workout schedule around my family, as my youngest absolutely hates it when I go out for my nightly run without him. He will cry until I get home and it is just heart breaking. So for the love of my family, I either go after he's gone to bed or bring him along in the jogger. I'm amazed at the ease this juggling of life and weight loss comes. So after 5 months it's become second nature.

You can tell your getting thinner when.........

You can bend over and paint your own toes with out cutting off your airway or circulation!!

I painted my own toes today, and I could breath the whole time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just thought I'd let you know! LOL