Tuesday, March 31, 2009


It's amazing that it has been over a week since I last updated my blog. Where does the time go. I have been doing very well as far as eating and working out. Although, I guess only working out 2 times last week doesn't really count as doing well. But hey, at least it's 2 more times than I used to work out! I busted butt yesterday though and burned 631 calories at the gym.

There's nothing really new or exciting that has happened in the last week. I received a few compliments about how good I am looking so that is definately a moral booster. Keeps me driven at least. My brother has been a real source of encouragement to me. He has lost a great deal of weight, I'm not sure the exact amount though. I think around 74 pounds (thanks for the correction momma!). He works up on the slope and every time he comes home he looks slimmer and slimmer. He really looks amazing. I saw pictures of him today and he has changed so much. I know we have both struggled greatly with weight almost all our lives, but he has really made a change. Even though he's younger than me, I really look up to him. I also don't want to be the only fat one in our family either. :) Here's some before and after pictures. hopefully he doesn't kill me for posting them. Here's to you little brother. I am so proud of you!! xoxoxoxo



What a transforamtion!! This was taken quite a few months ago with his finace`. He has even lost more weight since then. Way to go Brother.

Monday, March 23, 2009


Monday is here already!! Why is it, the weekend goes by so fast, and then the week drags on forever??? I wish I was still at home in bed. My dear husband and my little Logan are at home today, and it kills me to be at work today!!!!

I had a great weekend. I ate pretty horribly, but it's a new day right. The scale was down a pound so it must not have been too bad. Even through all my naughty eating, I managed to come out of it with a reality of my loss and a small milestone has been accomplished. My husand Joe, bought me a new coat quite a few months ago. It was a really sweet gesture and I loved him for it. The only problem was that it didn't fit. It stretched really tight across the stomach and just looked disgusting. Kind of like Big girl in a tiny coat!!

Well, we were getting ready to leave the house and run a few errands yesterday and I couldn't find my polar fleece coat. So I'm rummaging throught the closet looking for it, when I happen across the coat Joe bought me. I thought, well we'll see how it fits and how much more I have to go before I can get into it. So I put it on and go to zip it up. Not only did it Zip up but I have extra room in it. I went running into the next room to show Joe that it finally fits and he just looked at me like I had just escaped form the nut house. He, not ever having a weight problem, doesn't know what it feels like to try and cram yourself into a coat one month and then 3 months later, try on that same coat and have it fit perfectly. So even if I celebrate by myself, I know the accomplishment I have made.

I also went shopping this weekend, and unfortunately only ended up with new mascara. Funny how jewlery, makeup, and shoes are a fat girls greatest shopping buys. I never have to worry about making sure that all my extra largeness can cram into them. They just fit perfectly no matter what size I am. Perhaps, that is why my jewlery armoire is overflowing with necklaces.

I end up taking my neice with me. She is a true girl and LOVES to shop. At least I have her, becuase with two boys and a husband I am basically on my own. For some reason they just don't like going with me!! :) Here's a quick picture of my little stinker of a neice. She had quite the fun time playing with the hats!

As far as eating goes, I am on track so far and putting the weekend behind me. So here's to a great week!!

Friday, March 20, 2009


Have you ever ate something and the taste just lingers in your mouth forever?? You wish you could go back and eat it all over again?? Yeah, the last time I remember that happening was when I was stuffing my face with some greasy, gain 5 lbs if you eat it, fast food. You know, the greasy cheeseburgers, or heavenly french fries. (Yes I used to love me some french fries!!!) Well I just experienced that again for the first time since my weight loss journey began. No, I didn't fall off an cave into secretly driving my car through the drive through. I actually ate something good for me and I wanted to keep eating it over and over and over again. I had SUSHI!!! It was the most delicious roll I have ever eaten. I would take it over fast food any day. It makes my mouth salivate right now as I type this. Can it be true??? Can something low calorie and healthy actually wipe my taste buds clean of the grease bombs I used to devour?? I think it has happened!! (Sound the trumpets and roll out the red carpet!!) It was a caterpillar roll. It's basically BBQ eel, in a roll, with sliced avocado over the top and them a little dab of some hot sauce. I could have ate 3 plates of it. Hey, I might just get used to this whole lifestyle change. 10 WEEKS AND COUNTING!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Exercise and Insight

So my workout today was wonderful. Of course I was dreading every minute of it today. You know, one of those days that you just want to pretend the gym was closed and you wouldn't be able to make it there today. Darn it!! And I really wanted to go!! Yeah, it was one of those days. But I talked myself into it (kicking and screaming the whole way) and made it to the gym. Once I get there I am fine, it's just the getting there that seems to be the problem. I am sooooooo glad I went though. For some unknown reason the time just flew by. It was a great workout. I got in 30 minutes on the Elliptical, which normally even getting to 20 minutes seems like 100 years. Then raced over to the Stationary Bike for another 20 minutes. I bought a Polar heart rate monitor (the best investment EVER!!!) a few weeks ago and I love using it. I know I'm doing what I should, and it gives me such an accurate reading of calories burned. (BEWARE......The machines at the gym lie!!!!) The only downfall is that it beeps at you if your heart rate drops below what it should be, reminding you that you need to step it up a little. So that's great, but it makes changing machines complicated. I had to hurry and jump off the elliptical, go grab the towel and cleaner to clean it up for the next user, and then run over and get situated on the Bike. You would be amazed how quickly your heart rate drops once your off the machines. I'm sure I irritated a few gym goers by my beeping watch. They were probably like "hey, fat girl, turn that dang thing off!! Is that your timer telling you that you need another candy bar??" SO I busted butt as fast as I good to get my heart rate back up. Eventually it stopped beeping, and I could carry on with my work out!! 50 minutes of straight cardio!! Yeah Me!!

As I was heading out to the gym today, I was stopped by one of my co-workers. We are always joking around and bugging each other, so of course I gave him a hard time as I was leaving. He turned and looked at me and said " Man, I just don't trust you!" I was freaked out at first thinking, "oh my gosh, what have I done?? Why would someone not trust me" You know, those fat girl insecurities coming out. So he finishes his thought by saying "You are just smiling ALL the time!" WOW..... me???? I was stunned for a bit. So I climbed into the car and sat there for a minute, pondering what he had just said to me. No One had ever said that before. I'm a happy person?? I've heard a thousand time before, that I looked sad, or what was wrong with me, I didn't look happy. But NEVER has anyone ever said that I smile all of the time. Am I becoming happy? Is my weight loss affecting me more than just through the scale? After some deep though, I think so. I think that since I am trying to better myself, I don't feel so negative. I don't feel the pity party for myself. I don't feel like the fat girl that just ate her feelings with a bag of McDonald's. I really do feel generally happier. Don't get me wrong, I was never miss angry, negative all the time. More like shy and kept to myself and was basically afraid that if I stood out, people would see that I was fat! How foolish of me!! Of course they knew I was fat, they weren't blind!! So now I feel good, feel like I am doing something for myself and fixing the problems I created throughout my life. I am no longer the shy fat girl, but the happy trying to lose weight, feeling better fat girl. I have a ways to go, but it just gets closer every day!!!

A New Beginning!


This being my first post, I guess I should explain this a little bit. I have spent the last 10 weeks enveloping myself in weight loss blogs and the amazing transformations many of you have undergone. I am mesmerized and encouraged everyday, that not only can this be done, but that "I" can do it as well. So I thought, what a way to record my progress. A record of the struggles and successes I will encounter. So that hopefully when I reach that ultimate goal, I can pass along the same inspiration that so many others have given me!!

I have dealt with weight issues for much of my life. I guess I've lived with the fascination that miraculously I would wake up one morning and just be thin. Really??? This doesn't happen?? Man....What have I done to myself. I have tried everything under the sun to lose weight. It never worked and I ultimately blamed it on the program and that it wasn't my fault. The diet just never worked. Now after 10 weeks of changing my "LIFESTYLE", I know that it wasn't the diets that didn't work, it was ME that didn't work. I just gave up! I said a few weeks ago that counting my calories and exercising to my full potential was the easiest thing I have ever done, and why didn't I do this before?? A friend of mine told me that it wasn't the way I was doing it that was working, but the reason I was doing it. A light bulb went off for me. Hey.......she's right I!! I really want it this time, and I'm ready for this next step. I'm ready to finish my search for thin. :)

So the last 10 weeks of my life have been exhilarating, enjoyable and rewarding all at the same time. At a starting weight of 234 lbs, I am now down 16 lbs, for an up to date weight of 218. Only 83 lbs left to reach my goal of 135. I have been counting my calories, making rational decisions about what I put in my mouth, and being active 3-4 times a week. I work out 3 times a week at the gym, with strength training and cardio, and then take my boys swimming once a week. Never in a million years would I think I would enjoy going to the gym. I really don't like the part of going there, but once I'm there, I love the endorphins I get. I love the feeling of accomplishment at the end of the workout. I am happier, getting healthier, and on my way to success!