Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Fantastic weekend and some things I learned...

I had the most wonderful Memorial weekend. We headed to Seward, Alaska which is about 2 hours away from home. It a small fishing town right on the ocean. The most beautiful place and if it wasn't so dang small I would live there. But I am somewhat of a city girl, so I don't think that would work for me!! :)

We arrived Friday night and settled in to our camp spot, made dinner and hung out for a bit before heading off to bed. Saturday morning I went out for my 2 mile morning run. My niece wanted to go, so I took her and their golden retriever with me. I don't have a dog myself but am thinking I need one now! She definitely kept me motivated and kept my speed up for me. No slowing down when you've got a pup with you. After my run we spent the day biking and walking all through town. I even showed everyone a few moves Thomas (my personal trainer) has showed me and they loved them. It turned into a competition with all the kids to see who could do the most. By night's end I was exhausted.

Sunday morning I got ready again for another morning run. This time my Sister in law asked to come along as well. She made it about a minute with me and then had to stop. We eventually met back up at the end of my loop, and 3 miles later. My sister in law ended up running for 20 seconds and then walking for a minute or so, and continued this for about 1.5 miles. I was proud of her for doing that and not being a runner. She told me that she was proud of me for going out every morning on a run even while on holiday and that she would remember me for a few days while her legs heal!! :)

The reason I am telling you this is because, I really learned this weekend that someone can be about 70 lbs lighter than you, yet not as physically fit. Another help with my disgust in the lack of scale movement. I am becoming a stronger person in more ways that just through the scale! I was proud of myself actually. I also noticed that doing these walks and bike rides, and my runs was something I enjoyed. In previous years I always hated it when someone would mention going for a walk. I would still go but, it was torturous for me. I guess losing 24 pounds may seem trivial to me but when I look at the whole picture and how far I have come already, I am amazed!!

On another note I have also learned that personal trainers cost way more than the listed price. I paid $240.00 for 6 weeks of training, but am now going to have so spend additional $$$$$ on new work clothes. I'm tired of hiking up my pants!! :) Not that I'm complaining!! Hee Hee!!!

I've got a funny story for you tomorrow!! Stay tuned....

Thursday, May 21, 2009

My theme song

Sometimes I'll hear a song that really moves me. But the song I have become addicted to lately has more than moved me it has really become the theme song of my life right now. It kind of makes me emotional sometimes. The song I have recently found is by Miley Cyrus. I've never really listened to any of her music, but her new song (or at least new to me) "The Climb" is all I want to listen to these days. I wanted to post the lyrics to it because I think it is inspirational and a testament to all of us going through this transformation of weight loss. It hits right to the heart for me.

Miley Cyrus - The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head saying,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking
but I Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I mean I know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb

Keep the faith
Keep your faith

I'm not sure if it has the same meaning to any of you, but I can't stop thinking about it and how this song was really meant to be the theme song for my life right now. It's all about the climb!!

Any of you have a song that really touches you?? That gets you going, keeps you motivated, or just sums up your life!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

My long weekend pictures

I set this blog up mainly to document my weight loss journey, but I couldn't help but share with you my wonderful little family as well as the beautiful camping weekend I just had. It was so relaxing and the perfect way to get our summer rolling. There's not much happening as far as weight loss right now, and I didn't make my 5 miles last night as I had planned, but I still got in 3 miles at the gym so that's way better than nothing!!

Logan, my 2 1/2 year old, giving love to his Aunties puppy. He loves the heck out of that dog!

Joey, my 10 year old, looking cool as he's carving on his stick. Shortly after this picture he cut himself and ended his career as a wood carver!

Sometime I am amazed at the pure beauty of this state. I can't imagine living anywhere else!

Both my boys cheesing it up for the camera!

My wonderful hubby and me at the top of the mountain.

He seriously played in the mud puddles non stop. He is such a boy!

My goofy husband acting crazy in the 4-wheeler.

I wish I had thought of taking a picture of the huge half mountain I had to climb up. I have nightmares about it!! :) Just joking!!

So there's a few pictures of my little life. We are headed out again for memorial weekend, this time to the beautiful city of Seward Alaska. It is my heaven on earth!! I'll be sure to take some more pictures and post them when we get back. I'm excited because there are actually sidewalks that I can go out running on. I'll be sure to get in my exercise this weekend and hopefully I can continue to make proper choices about what I eat. It's all about making this work with my life!!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I'm back!

I had the most amazing long weekend. The family loaded up and we headed out in our 5th wheel to get in some camping and four wheeling. I will have to post some pictures later because it was absolutely beautiful. The heat was welcoming and I wanted to stay out there for another week!

I've learned that camping is very rough on the whole eating situation. I did try to make good choices and watch my portions but it was VERY difficult. I ate some pie and didn't feel guilty about it one bit. The part that I did feel guilty about was the exercise. Of course we were outside and moving around all weekend, but I felt the need for some good hard workouts. The sweaty breathing hard, heart rate soaring type of workout. I did manage to get in a small workout as my son made me climb half a mountain with him. Standing at the bottom it looked like a cake walk, but once I started climbing I wanted nothing more than a helicopter to come in and rescue me!!! I made it so the top, very out of breath, but feeling so good! I never would have tackled it had I not been working out and dropped 20 pounds. I feel like I am getting my life back. :)

So now that I'm back, it's all about getting back on track and getting in an awesome workout today. I'm meeting with the trainer today so hopefully he will kick the fat right out of me! Then tonight I will get in my long run. I'm thinking about trying to get in a 5 miler tonight. We'll see how it goes.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

With bells on...

I have to share a funny story with you all about the conversation I had with my mom this morning. We were doing our normal morning chat on the phone, and talking about the biggest loser last night. I was telling her that I had to make sure I went for my run early since I didn't want to miss biggest loser. Also since it was on for 3 hours last night I couldn't go afterwards as it would have been too late. So after I get done telling my mom about my run, this is the conversation she has with me!!

Mom- "Daughter, you need to get a bell and tie it to your shoe or something. Or maybe even around your waist while your running!!"

Me - "What???"

Mom - "Yeah, you need to get a bell while you are out running. You know Doug at work rode his bike to work yesterday and he saw 3 bears on the way!"

Me - " Mother!! Where was he riding his bike?"

Mom - "Well here in Anchorage, but there are a lot more bears in Eagle River than there are here. You running with your headphones on and don't make a noise while you're running, so with a bell you could scare them off!"

Me - (Starting to laugh) Well I breathe heavy when I run so that should be enough!! (Snicker) Anyways, I run right next to the highway, I've never seen a bear next to the highway or in our neighborhood, and there's even a big fence next to the bike path. I don't think I'm going to be seeing any bears!

Mom - "Well I'm done worrying then!! When Joey (my son) is older and he buys a motorcycle and is riding it out on the highway and you call me freaking out, I will remind you of this! I won't feel sorry for you!"

Me - "Yeah right! You are a worry wort, so you would be more worried about your grand baby riding a motorcycle on the highway than I would!"

My mother ended the conversation shortly after this. I think she was a little worried. The whole time I am picturing myself running down the path with a big bell on my shoe, or even worse tied around my waist! I bring enough attention to myself just being a fat girl running down the highway, none the less carrying a damn dinging bell as I go. Kids in the near by neighborhoods would get all excited thinking the ice cream man is coming, only to find a fat girl running down the street, dinging and looking like she ate the ice cream truck!!

So no, I will not be wearing a bell when I run Mom!! If I was running in the woods, or even remotely close to the woods, I would wear a bell. As of right now I don't want to cause tons of little kids the heartache of having to wait for the real ice cream man to come around!!
This is my Marathon Auntie on the left and my wonderful, beautiful momma on the right!

Thanks for the good laugh today mom!! Love you!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Anyone else as excited as me?

The season finale of Biggest Loser is on tonight and I can't wait for work to end, drive home and patiently wait an hour until the world's best TV show comes on. YEAH!!!!

I may be a little nuts, but there is something about the determination and will these fellow losers have that motivates the heck out of me. They encourage me to keep on truckin!! I am also a huge fan of Kristin and can't wait to see how she looks tonight. She was my girl and everything she went through I have felt the same. She had a ton of weight to lose and didn't let it stop her.

Are any of you as crazy as me and who are you rooting for??

Monday, May 11, 2009

I may have become an addict......

But not the kind of addict that requires an intervention!

I am addicted to running!

The high, the endorphin release, the feeling of being free!

I can not believe that I didn't start this journey years earlier. I had always had dreams that I was running. Just running down the trail with no cares and no worries, just by myself reflecting on life. Then I would wake up and laugh at myself for even thinking I could run. Silly girl, your fat!!

Not anymore!! Saturday morning I got up at 8:00 and went out for my morning run. The air was cool, clean and crisp. It was about 45 degrees out and felt so good. I can't imagine running in hot weather. How do some of you do it! I ended up running 2 miles that morning, I could have gone for longer, but my hubby had to leave for work and I had two children begging for some mommy attention. That night I went out for another run. My husband just looked at me like I was crazy. "You're going for another run?? You went this morning though" I shook my head, sneaked away from my little Mommy's boy 2 year old and took off. I was only supposed to be gone for 30 minutes or so. However, I felt so good while I was out running that I just kept on going.

By the time I knew it I was almost at 4 miles. I was just kind of on auto pilot and letting my feet and legs take me where they wanted to go. It also helped that I had some killer tunes to listen to as well. Hubby called me after I had been gone for 52 minutes, wanting to know if he should send out the search team. He was worried, and I felt bad for making him worry. The addiction made me do it honey!! (Love you!) I finally made it home at 56 minutes and 4 miles later.

I really ran 6 miles in one day?? To you runners, that may be a normal occurrence, but for me it was a huge feat. I took the day off on Sunday and am rip roaring ready to go today!!

Thanks for letting me brag! I can't believe how good it feels to take care of myself. I found another addiction to replace my previous addiction! I will take a running high over a 5 minute binge any day!!!

P.S. I bought apples again on Sunday as they were on killer sale for $.88 a lb. Got 6 of them for like $2.50!! Hubby was very happy this time! :)

Friday, May 8, 2009

It's friday!!

I was all set this morning to write about how non supportive my husband is being right now, and he doesn't understand what it's like to deal with a weight issue your entire life, and basically he's a big fat jerk. That was until he woke up this morning! Damn him for ruining my post. :)

So you all know I hired a personal trainer last week. The trainer was a bit pricey, but I figure I'm worth it right now. I get 6 weeks of training for $240.00. When I talked to my husband about getting a trainer, he was all freaking out, saying it is a waste of money and that I'm doing fine on my own right now, and blah blah blah!! That really was the extent of my conversation with him. When it comes to money this man is cheap cheap cheap (unless he's buying himself something. Grrrr)

So last night I went to bed and was peacefully sleeping when I am rudely awakened. This wonderful husband of mine has waken me up at 11:00 at night to get on my case for spending $240.00 on a trainer. He must have been on the computer checking our bank account. He states I never told him how much it cost and that's just ridiculous. I think I picked up whatever was closest to me (just a pillow) and threw it at him. You're really waking me up for this?? UGGHHH! Men are just dumb sometimes.

This morning I woke up and got ready for work. I was mad and hurt at the same time. Wondering why he couldn't support me sometimes, or even notice the difference I have made in the last 17 weeks. We wasn't even that thrilled for me when I finished my 5K.

I was getting ready to leave the house for work and he was just getting up. He comes over to me, gives me a big hug and says he's sorry for freaking out on me last night and that he's fine with everything. Damn it, why do they have to go and do that! I was all set to be mad at him for the rest of the day and he has to wake up and accept the fact that he was wrong.

Don't get me wrong, he is the most loving husband and treats me like I am the most beautiful women in the world. He really would love me no matter what size I am. He just doesn't care. It's just that sometimes when it comes to my weight loss I don't get the encouragement and support I desire. He's working on it slowly though and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.

Next thing I know, he'll be asking if I want to go get hot wings for dinner. Somethings I guess will never change!! :)

Thursday, May 7, 2009

New records

Today I get to share my new records with you all. I always get so excited to let you all know how I'm doing because the feedback I get is so encouraging. Who can let go when the support I receive from all of you is so strong.

So Tuesday I met up with Thomas again. We had to set a baseline for our workouts, basically a starting point to grow from. The test consisted of 1 minute of push ups, 1 minute of crunches, and then a mile run. Luckily Thomas didn't make me do full on push ups and I got to do them modified. Let me tell you that even modified wasn't as easy as I had hoped.

1 minute of push-ups - 21 total
1 minute of crunches - 24 total

So now about my mile run. I was kind of scared because no one has ever stood there and watched me run before. I was feeling really self conscious about myself. Thinking he's gonna watch my fat flop up and down now...... Why oh why did I sign up for this!! I wasn't about to waste my money and give up so I hopped onto the treadmill. I normally go at a speed of 4.2 or 4.5 depending on the day. Of course since I had Thomas watching me I felt the need to make my mile a little faster than normal (14:30 mile). I ended up setting that thing at 5.0 . I wanted to quit after the first 3 minutes. Around 5 minutes I decided that I didn't want to die on the treadmill so I dropped it back down to 4.7. I actually completed my mile in 12:30. I blew my record away by 2.5 minutes. See what having someone hover over you can make you do. I never thought I could run that fast and look at what I just did. Never doubt yourself!

Yesterday I was home with a sick baby (well he's 10 but he's still my baby) and the urge to eat everything in the house was so strong. No wonder I go to work every day, it keeps me from raiding the refrigerator! :) It was pretty blah outside, trying to rain of and on and pretty chilly. I can no begin to tell you the guilt I felt all day for not getting to the gym, and not being able to run due to the pouring rain last night. 17 weeks ago I wouldn't have cared one bit. Amazing what happens to the mind and body in such a short time!

Now I'm going to share with you my greatest news!! I stepped on the scale this morning and I was blown away by what it said. I had to reset the thing a couple times and reweigh myself just to make sure it wasn't messing up. The scale read 211.8 lbs. That is 22.2 lbs down in 17 weeks. I am so thrilled that I can't even begin to verbalize my excitement. The thing that hit so hard this morning was that I haven't seen this weight in about 9 years.

After I had my first son I weighed in at 175 lbs. I ended up getting the Norplant shortly after that and in less than 2 years ballooned up to 250 lbs. I was a fat mess really. So stepping on the scale and seeing that I have come such a far way already it unbelievable to me. I'm really doing it this time!

11.9 lbs to go and I am under 200. You will probably all hear me screaming the day I get there!!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Crummy Monday

So yesterday I was feeling blue and just had a really bad case of the MONDAYS!! I really have no clue what my problem was.

I ended up eating a Starbucks blueberry muffin from my early morning meeting and things just went downhill from there. At lunch time all I wanted was to drive through the Wendy's drive through and get a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. I opted for a Lite Chicken Cesar salad I had brought with me instead, but the temptation was almost too unbearable.

Once I got home from work I just wanted to curl up on the couch and be lazy, lifeless, and plain just pass out. However this isn't entirely possible with a husband and two little boys needing my attention. This made me crankier. I'm telling you, it was the worst case of the Monday's ever!! I ended up finding a bag of BBQ chips sitting on the counter and probably could have polished off the bag had I not gotten myself under control. So I only ate a quarter of the bag instead. Way to go dummy!!!

We had steak tacos for dinner and it didn't even taste good. Probably because the residual taste of fatty chips were still lingering in my mouth. Why do I do this to myself?? And why all of a sudden am I not enjoying food. I think I just need to change it up a little bit.

After dinner I almost fell asleep on the couch until my husband saved me and dragged me off and made me go for a bike ride. Little did I know he was going to punish me for trying to fall asleep by taking me up every single gosh darn hill in the area. You know how your parents used to say they walked uphill to school both ways?? Well my bike ride was uphill both ways. I'm serious about that too!! I'm not talking little bunny hills, I'm talking the steepest mountains he could find me. Oh, it was all a piece of cake for him and he wasn't pulling a 30 lb 2 year old and a 600 million pound bike carrier up the hill behind him. Not only do I have Thomas torturing me at the gym, but now I have my sweet little husband torturing me at home. What is with these men!!

So that is a snapshot of the worst day I have had in a long time. Today seems to be a little bit better, but I am still a little bit irritable. Hopefully it will go away, as I have another torture session with Thomas this afternoon. Hopefully my armpits have healed enough to withstand his pain. We'll see!!

Monday, May 4, 2009

I died on Friday!

I met with a personal trainer on Friday. I was supposed to meet with him at 1:00 to go over the plan and get in a good workout. Unfortunately we had to wait until 2:00 because the appointment he thought had cancelled unfortunately showed up. (Unfortunate for me, but kuddos to them for not giving up!! I can't hate too much!) So he instructed me to go about my normal routine and we would meet back up at 2. So I climbed onto the bike for 35 minutes and then got on the elliptical machine for 20 minutes. I was sweaty and tired by then and really wanted to cancel our workout for the day.

I then started to feel bad and eventually made my way over to him. Let me just tell you about THOMAS!! He is beautiful, I mean really hot, has a ripped body and to make it even better he makes me feel so comfortable around him that I don't feel insecure. That's a hard thing to get around for me. I didn't care how fat I looked working out, I just did what he told me to.

Can I ask some of you when the last time you did a push up was?? How about a pull up?? Your laughing right. We're fat, we don't do those. Thomas asked me this question and laughed when I told him probably never. He said most everyone he asks that question to has the same response. So guess what Mr. Thomas made me do?? Yep....... freakin push ups and modified pull ups. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I had to do 15 reps of each. Then if that wasn't enough I had to do a gazillion squats with a 25 pound weight, and immediately go into a plank. I've done planks before and wasn't too scared until he told me to go for 30 seconds. Then I had to do it all over again 3 more times. My whole body was a big fat sweaty mess of jello. How could this be. I've been working out for 16 weeks now, shouldn't my body be used to this. The answer is NNNNOOOOOOO! I was working out but nothing that put my body through this. Switching up your workout routine has such an impact on your body. Doing something besides the weight machines really fired up that furnace!

Needless to say, I was a mess all weekend. It hurt to breath, and even comb my hair. Not really, but it did hurt to put on deodorant. Can armpits really hurt?? This man destroyed my body and I love him for it. We meet again tomorrow and I simply can't wait. Bring on the pain Thomas!